Hindsight is 20/20 : Living and Learning Life’s Lessons


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How do we know the roads to take, if we have never travelled them before? The words in the phrase ‘Hindsight is 20/20’ embodies the crux of the human experience. It takes into consideration that once we begin our lives here on Earth as infants, we are starting fresh. Inherent knowledge that is within us, will be revealed throughout the course of our lives, but no one has access to a personal handbook or manual for life’s trials and tribulations, for heartbreak and pain, and for accepting and relishing the good times and expressing gratitude. These are all lessons we learn, not by sitting in a classroom, but through experience, which is the greatest teacher of all. 

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To learn the lessons that our soul craves, the very lessons that we signed up for before our physical bodies were formed, we must be involved in situations where the lesson is learned. These lessons are taught everyday within our lives. We can learn so much from the reactions that we have to minor disturbances that disrupts our everyday calm, and also to earth shattering events, from which our lives are changed forever. 

Until we experience these lessons by living them out, we will not know what the right path is for us. Until we experience the effects that a negative reaction can have on those close to us, we will not know that the positive reaction is the one that is most beneficial. Trial and error. That is the song of life. This is nothing to be ashamed of and should be embraced wholeheartedly, because from these trials and errors, comes invaluable knowledge that will be needed along our soul path. 

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When you come out to your car to find the battery is dead and you must wait for a jump, you are being taught patience. When confronted with a situation where you have to share your feelings on another’s actions, you learn that all truth can be communicated in love. In communicating through tough issues where disagreements can occur, you realize that reciprocity and mutuality is important, as all people have thoughts, feelings and perspectives that should be respected and acknowledged, even if they are not agreed upon. Receiving an incorrect order at a restaurant can turn into a lesson in letting go, and an opportunity to demonstrate kindness. It is one thing to read about love and a whole other thing to receive and give love in action. 

The list goes on and on and most of these lessons aren’t even realized until one is looking over the situation in hindsight. When reviewing your life for lessons to be learned, do not count out hindsight to reveal the lessons that may have first appeared to be hidden. 


The Healing Abilities of Gentleness, Kindness, and Love

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Healing, in all of its forms, takes time. The healing process from deep wounds mentally, or emotionally, can be very painful and need to be dealt with head on, with love, kindness and gentleness.

Most do not view or treat themselves with love and kindness, when dealing with emotional or mental wounds and instead push themselves to get past the wound, instead of bearing with themselves in love and support while the healing occurs. When I was deep in the midst of postpartum depression, which I suffered after all three of my births, I made the mistake of trying to push myself through it. I would tell myself that I just needed to keep moving, to shake it off, to pretend like it wasn’t as debilitating it was, and to act normal and speed up my healing, when all I really wanted to do was slow down and rest. I also blamed myself for a mental disorder that I had no control over and that I did not inflict upon myself. I didn’t give myself what I needed to heal, and I wasn’t kind to myself during the process for a very long time.

Mental wellness is essential to a life well lived and to overall health and satisfaction, but the importance of mental wellness is generally overlooked, as we live in a society where it is not appropriate to slow down and take care of ourselves. We are encouraged to take care of others, but very rarely, are we encouraged to take care of ourselves for our own wellbeing and benefit. It wasn’t until I asked myself the tough questions and really took the time to listen, did I realize the error of my ways. I realized that my brain had endured many traumatic events throughout its lifetime, including the hormonal and chemical changes during and after pregnancy, and it needed to rest. I realized that healing is not something that can be rushed, nor should it ever be rushed. The lack of kindness that I had received during my lifetime, led me to treat myself with harshness and I had to teach myself how to speak encouragingly, kindly and lovingly to myself, something that comes natural to me when interacting with others, but didn’t come easily when I interacted with myself.  This negative self talk was magnified by the depression and would take me into a vicious cycle of feeling unworthy and worthless.

I began to make the conscious decision to notice when things weren’t coming easy to me due to my mental state, for example I was more forgetful and had a hard time forming sentences that described the way I was thinking, and treat myself with extra gentleness and kindness in these moments. I began to tell myself it was okay that I couldn’t remember things as well, and that it wasn’t a big deal, I was still healing and, even if I had a long way to go,  I had come a very long way. I could feel my self esteem increasing with every positive conversation that I had with myself.

I am still making positive self talk a habit. I am still learning and I am a work in progress, but I have gained the ability to notice when negative self talk is occurring, be able to pinpoint if it is being magnified by any current stressors and reroute the conversation to a positive perspective. When I find myself speaking to myself negatively, I stop and apologize to myself and offer myself forgiveness, because I deserve to forgive myself and begin anew. Being kinder to myself, has given me the ability to be even more kind and patient to the people around me, especially my loved ones. Treating yourself with kindness, gentleness and love is a gift, and it is a gift that you deserve to both give and receive.