Thoughts on Forgiveness


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Forgiveness is a word that makes people shudder when heard, because it can sometimes feel like forgiveness is condoning the hurtful behavior of others. Hurtful behavior that has caused wounds within our hearts and has seemed to affect us adversely, causing us great pain. It is the fear of feeling the same pain that makes us react so strongly towards forgiving a wrong that has been inflicted. We fear the pain, and feel as if letting go of the pain and negative emotions towards the person that caused this action, will mean that we will experience the same pain. We feel as if holding onto the anger and resentment will right the wrong that was done.

 Our anger and hurt is what got us through the the initial moment of hurt, of pain, of trauma; but once that moment is past, we are left on a new path but carrying the baggage of a previous destination, with no room to pick up the new emotions and energy that are needed for the current leg of our journey. If we continue to hold onto old negative feelings we deprive ourselves of the ability to receive the blessings, healing and comfort that God is providing us in every moment that we need it. It can be hard to hear God’s voice and feel His presence when we feel clutched in the throes of despair, but just because it is hard for us to hear and feel God, He never leaves us.

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The human journey can be grueling. Filled with ups and downs and very little love, let alone unconditional love. The type of love that can be counted on through thick and thin. These precarious, loveless, circumstances that many of us find ourselves in from time to time, can begin to harden our hearts to love as a whole, which in turn hardens our hearts towards our Loving Gracious Creator. God can never turn His back on us, but we sure do turn our back on him every so often. More often than I am sure any of us are willing to admit. I am sure God’s heart must ache when we allow ourselves to suffer by turning from Him, to nurse the wounds we procure in our journey of life, alone. Yet, He is continuously patient and loving with us. He continues to shine love down on us, even stronger when we are attempting to go it alone.

If we allow ourselves to trust in this constant love and surrender the burden of hurt, pain, anger and resentment to God, in exchange for renewal, healing, strength, and a greater understanding of ourselves and the world as a whole, we can move forward in our journey of life with the correct luggage. The type of luggage that is feather light and does not cause the wearer to tire, because it is filled with hope, faith, and so much love that the luggage floats and carries you along your journey. Whatever we need, we can always ask our Heavenly Father for and He will provide in accordance with His divine will which only wants the absolute very best for you.

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Allowing yourself to let go of hurt and pain and anger, is the true definition of forgiveness, and allows God to work on our behalf because God respects our free will and waits for you to ask for what you need so He can provide it for you. God loves you. He loves me. He loves us and He wants us to feel an increase of His love by allowing ourselves to forgive by releasing all toxic emotions so that we can receive His love.

When Momming Gets Tough

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart— These, O God, You will not despise.”
Psalms 51:17 NKJV

As a mom it feels like there are some days that just bring you to your knees. And not even just one day in our continuous parade of constant motion, but sometimes, it’s several days strung together where you feel like you just can’t go on. You’re so tired. There’s so much to be done. And you want to enjoy the moments and not just rush through them, but there doesn’t seem like there is time for a break. Not when you have little people clinging to your every limb, word and heart string. Little people who absolutely need you in every single way and are pretty much helpless without you. Even going to the bathroom does not provide solace of time alone, because there is a little person screaming looking for you, or trying to bust the door down or heck, even sitting on your lap while you pee.

At the end of these days, cooking dinner can feel like you’re climbing Mount Everest, and you pass out in bed just to wake up and do it all over again. Relentless. That is a great word to describe motherhood. It doesn’t stop, doesn’t pause, doesn’t give you the moments that you so desperately need sometimes to just sit and catch your breath. In these moments it’s so easy to want to succumb to the feelings of overwhelm, to just cry, because it all feels too much. But in these moments we are the perfect living sacrifices to our wise and benevolent Father, for we realize that our strength just isn’t good enough.

Our strength isn’t enough to lift us up and give us what we need to carry on, for if it was we wouldn’t get to the impossible place of overwhelm that we so often find ourselves in.
The days when we feel like we are just barely keeping ourselves afloat, are days that we should rejoice for everything that is making us feel this way. For we are being humbled. Our spirits and hearts are being broken, to help us to realize how much we need Jesus and how He can help us if we cast our cares onto Him. We realize that God can work best through us when we are not in the way, and just as we will always do anything for our babies, we are God’s babies and He will do anything for us. That includes carrying us when we need to be carried and offering us a rest in Him that cannot be achieved elsewhere.

I believe motherhood is designed to make us lean on God so that our children can lean on us. Being a mother is a job that we can not do on our own and we absolutely need the help of God to do. We must allow God to take care of us, so that we can take care of others and to do this, we must be humbled.